Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in becster06's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Saturday, August 27th, 2005
10:16 pm	so basically this entry is just going to be me bitching.. so if you dont want to read it, dont... its weird how people classify who is or is not a good friend... especially in high school. i mean think about it... almost every 16 or 17 year old would rather go to a high school party than help one friend who is depressed and sitting at home... and that is nobodys fault really because we are 16 and 17 year olds and our job qualifications do involve being selfish... but at the same time, wouldnt it be nice if after hearing that a friend was upset if ONE of these 16 or 17 year olds took the time out of their party night to stop by... for maybe 5 minutes, say... or insist that that person comes out to have a good time despite the terrible mood that he/she is in... or at least recognize the times that that person has been there for you and tell them that you hope they feel better and that you'll call later to check in... im not saying this because i feel neglected or because i actually think that one of my friends should do this for me every night that im upset... obviously there have been plenty of times where ive chosen to be the party-goer, leaving my friend behind.. but the thing is, almost everytime i make that decision, i feel guilty... and i guess what sucks is it just doesnt seem like other people get that same feeling as me... maybe its because i get more attached to my relationships than some people - ironically, thats probably one of my greatest faults... i guess i just wish that i didnt have to doubt my group of friends and their priorities or how much they really care about each other... i wish that i didnt have to get mad or frustrated for tricking myself into thinking that the majority of the friendships i have now are going to last beyond high school or are going to last at all... i know there are a few people who i will be close to in college and thereafter, but i also know that sometimes the more important things in life get blurred or ignored by the 16 and 17 year olds that we are... i just know that a 5 minute visit or a 2 minute phone call goes a long way... and it would have gone a long way tonight. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Monday, August 22nd, 2005
8:05 pm	following the trend... i guess im just following the trend... schedule 2006 1. European History AP - McCaffrey 2. Creative Writing H - Ruhana 3. Homebase - JONAK 4. Adv. Journalism - Lowe 5. AB Calc AP - Flaws 6. Lunch 7. Free 8. English AP - Jenkins 9. Team Sports (athletic studyhall) - Salinas 10. Adv. Hebrew 4-5 - Siegel 1. European History AP - McCaffrey 2. Free (or maybe human behavior H) 3. Homebase - JONAK 4. Adv. Journalism - Lowe 5. AB Calc AP - Flaws 6. Lunch 7. Free (or maybe human behavior H) 8. English AP - Jenkins 9. Sports Officiating - Colwell (i got ms. pickett and switched out immediately haha) 10. Adv. Hebrew 4-5 - Siegel Current Mood: stressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
12:05 am	wow so a lot has happened recently but i just wanna thank everyone who's been there for me and helped me throughout this time... you guys are amazing... i dont really feel like making an entry... i just felt like i should i guess - but im still overwhelmed so maybe ill make one a little later plus i wanted to make it so india wasnt the only one updating Current Mood: sleepy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
8:20 pm	heyyyyyy heyyyyyyy baby heyyyyyyy so whats up? ive talked to a few of you recently, and i dont feel like putting up any personal information about camp but everything is good right now... tonight we're going to do laundry and to walgreens so i can finally get the pictures from my other two israel cameras developed which is soooooo exciting... other than that jew camp is amazing as usual... its so nice being on staff and having all the freedom that we didnt have before and the ability to hang out with all the older people at camp who we knew but couldnt really chill with before... i miss all of you a lot even though a lot of you are away right now... august 4 to august 5 i am coming home with my 3 best friends from camp for our days off and you better plan to party (and sleep at my house if you want to) that night... all right thats all i miss you guys, save that date, and call me if anything important happens l'hitraot (see you later), becca Current Mood: uncomfortable (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
5:29 pm	goodbye so i guess this is goodbye for a month... even though ill have access to a computer at camp i highly doubt ill be going on there a lot and if i do my entries will be rare... these past few days have been pretty good but im soooooooo ready to leave... i definitely need to get away... but i will miss you all a lot... you can email me if you want but i probably wont be checking my email all too often.. ill also have my cell phone up there so if its important or you just wanna talk you can definitely leave a message on my phone and ill try my hardest to call you back... reception at camp sucks though - im warning you guys... other than that you can write letters which are one of the best parts of camp - really you should think of it as a way to document the summer... in the past i think the people who have written to me have gotten almost more out of it than i did by getting the letters... so if you wanna write heres my address: Becca Bernstein OSRUI - Avodah 600 Lac La Belle Drive Oconomowoc, WI 53066 i hope everyone has a great last month of summer shalommmmmmmmm Current Mood: stressed (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
11:32 pm	i dont know i dont even know why i get fooled... Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
12:42 am	wyclef wyclef was amazing... great, chill night with my crazyyy lovers... and jason. but thats besides the point... definitely one of the best summer nights so far in my opinion... ahh i was gonna write a real entry but, like ive been saying all day, im physically and emotionally drained and i need to sleep... so ill leave with one very very very important thing... "i threw my 60 pound casserole over the fence" - kristen aka pocahontas Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
9:58 am	summer sooo now that my jetlagged self is a little more awake ive been thinking about fun stuff to do until july 18 (when i leave for camp)... i have to drive a lot and play a lot of tennis/go to lifetime to build up my muscles again (i start playing tennis all day every day on july 11) haha plus i have scattered babysitting jobs and AP homework to do BUT here are some ideas... you can either add on to them or tell me when it would be good to do any of these things... ~baseball games (cubs AND sox.. i think i have some tickets) ~Taste of Chicago (that ends soon) ~seeing Batman Begins (i might with my little bro bro tomorrow... but you can always come) ~Navy Pier (daytime/nighttime? they have fireworks on wednesday and saturday nights) ~Milennium Park ~Ravinia (Wyclef Jean is there July 11) ~Outdoor film festival in chicago (the only one ill be there for is citizen kane july 12) ~the zoo (i have a family pass) ~museums... shedd aquarium is my personal favorite, but the other ones can be fun too ok anyways if you have any more ideas tell me... and if you want to come with me to any of these things tell me too... all right im gonna go put some clothes on bye bye! Current Mood: bored (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
3:41 pm	home so im back. and its been weird... my last few days in israel were some of the most amazing days of my life i got the opportunity to stay with a host family (my host dad happened to be the son of the mayor of tel aviv) and actually hang out with israeli teenagers... thats where i met nati. i cant really explain the relationship we built in such a short time or why it meant so much to me... everything was (and still is) such a blur, but all i really want to do is rewind time and find myself swinging on those swings overlooking the mediterranean sea and the beaches of tel aviv with him... on the flight home i was thinking about everything, still completely overwhelmed by exhaustion and having to say goodbye, and i thought of the book i read throughout the trip, the perks of being a wallflower... one of the things that made the book so remarkably real was the way in which the author discussed "feeling infinite." i realized that with nati i felt infinite like i never had before... his passion for life was completely contagious. i never thought that i would find a random israeli boy who is both as silly and serious as me, and who i could share so much with in a matter of 4 days... but several ditched programs and hitch hikes to hotels later, he and i both found ourselves completely wrapped in each others lives, feeling things we had never felt before... i know that hes entering the army in 6 months, and i know that realistically we might never see each other again, but i also know that i met nati for a reason... and although im not quite sure yet what that reason is, i am so so unbelievably thankful that i was able to share my life with him and that he could do the same... i guess looking back on everything i just have to treasure every second of those few lifechanging days... after all, its not every day that you are able to feel infinite. i was gonna write more about the trip, but i think i am emotionally drained for the day... maybe later... we shall see Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Friday, June 24th, 2005
6:58 pm	ani ohevet yisrael ahhhhhh whats up you guys??? so im at my host familys house in tel aviv, just got here this afternoon... we're staying for two nights and then im leaving sunday night and coming back monday morning in chicago (but itll be monday night or tuesday morning body time)... anyways i miss all of you im sure ur having a crazy time ive talked to kali, deanna, and kate for a little bit each and it seems like everything is going well israel has been a mix of emotions im on a pretty serious trip so there hasnt been as much pure fun as i would have liked... a lot of discussions about serious issues like disengagement and terrorism, and the division of religion... but ive learned a ton and ive had some really lifechanging experiences... i got to go to sederot, a city very near to where disengagement will occur where there are bombs at least 5 times a week and usually more.. there were two bombs two days before i went there so it was terrifying but also i actually felt the fear that israelis must feel constantly in their own homes and it was indescribable.. we met with the mayor and he told us a story about a 17 year old girl walking with her 8 year old brother who heard the alarm that goes off 20 seconds before a bomb is going to hit (they dont know where its going to hit, just what time.. this is brand new technology...) and had nowhere to hide so she covered her brother and sure enough she died but she saved her brothers life... knowing that i am that girl's age and that i have a brother who is her brother's age... it was just unbelieveable. although i have learned a lot and gone to a lot of meetings and discussions and educational programming ive also gotten to meet a lot of really cool jews... ranging from people who dont go to synagogue at all to people who are orthodox and shomer nagiya which basically means you cant touch any person of the opposite sex until ur married... seeing them interact with people has also been a very unique experience... and these same girls who are shomer nagiya have bridal classes next year where a rabbi teaches them how to give oral sex... ive made a lot of really amazing friends though, people who i never would have hung out with otherwise and people from all different kinds of backgrounds... thats been interesting but im sure ill tell you guys more about it later what else? well we crashed a jewish wedding overlooking all of jerusalem and that was the funniest thing ever, one boy is taping almost the whole trip and im gonna help him make a movie about it so you guys will all be able to see and understand my experience better... yesterday i met an israeli guy, nati (like natty... i know its weird) and he and i are hanging out tomorrow night alone and then also hanging out with a big group of other israeli kids ive met and we're going clubbing so that should be fun theres so much more freedom here i feel so unrestricted and even though its scary to be in an area that has been traumatized by so much violence, just being out on the streets makes you feel invincible... i have really fallen in love with israeli culture, but at the same time i have learned to appreciate how safe i feel in the united states and how much i love it here too.. a lot of the religious kids on the trip want to make aliyah which means they want to move to israel after high school or college (depending on if they study in the states or in israel) and i could never imagine doing that i am definitely an american jew not a jewish american... and that has become more and more obvious as the trip has progressed i am so much more grateful for what i have anyways i dont feel like being on the computer when im in the most amazing country ever ill see you guys soon enough and ill be able to tell you a lot more in person than i can on the phone or in a livejournal entry... keep monday night open-ish thats when i come home... ill be home around 10:30 in the morning just so you all know.. you can still call me or text me (if you wanna text me for free contact my dad) and ill try to contact some of you maybe in the next couple of days i love you guys harbeh harbeh harbeh (a lot a lot a lot) bye! Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
10:18 pm	1. i am leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks.. im excited... israel.. but you can leave me messages here if you miss me and i cant talk... but heres my international cell phone number for all of you who will need to leave messages and such the best time to call me (or text me) will be between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.... aka 10-12 my time here it is: 011-972-52-884-9754 ill miss you guys! 2. grind on meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 3. im gonna try and check lj and maybe maybe update so you all better make excellent posts 4. the girls are coming back with my baked goods soon so ill see you guys in 2 weeks Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 12th, 2005
5:21 pm	heyyy so everythings pretty ok right now... ive been spending a lot of time with deanna and kristen lately cuz of disco and cuz i wont get to see deanna from june 15-august 17... i leave june 15 for israel and then get back two weeks later but she will be gone. i just talked to some camp ppl on the phone its weird that im not there at the very beginning of the session like most of my friends are but im really glad that i get to experience israel for the first time its going to be so much fun... even though it will be sad tonight at my semi-going away thing... let see what else? im SO SO excited to have my own column next year for the evanstonian and it was really gratifying to beat out a bunch of boys for the sports column especially since i want to be a sports journalist when i grow up so i am really excited for that, finals were pretty good except for fucking mr mull i hate him he is the stupidest man i have ever met... and then yea everything else is, for the most part, good... you should call me if you want to see me before i leave june 15. i would also like to say that its really interesting how everyone feels like something is missing right now i feel the same way and i think its really cuz of the realization that we are fucking 17 years old and going to be seniors in high school in reality its not that old but time has just flown by so fast i hated being at school without the seniors even though it will be fun to have my sister at ETHS... well thats about all. what a boring entry i hope all of you skipped over it Current Mood: bouncy (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
11:54 pm	yes tomorrow will hands down be one of the greatest days... this year i guess? but seriously... ahhhh ps: take off your socks right heidi ho? right. sorry umm just felt like i had to update addicted much? yea... Current Mood: stressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 5th, 2005
10:41 pm	wow i didnt know i could learn so much in one day Current Mood: sad (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
5:33 pm	looking back on this year i have grown up so much... maybe not in inches cuz we all know im (not that) short... but i have expanded my mind so so much i have learned a ton about myself, a ton about the people around me, and a ton about what i want to do with the rest of my life... its starting to sink in that a year from now ill be one summer away from leaving everything ive ever known but everything ive ever known is what has prepared me for the future and taught me everything i know now. its amazing looking back on a year with such drastic ups and downs... all i can say is thank you for teaching me about myself and the world around me, thanks for putting up with me, and thanks for making this the the best junior year i could have ever imagined. i love you. Current Mood: creative (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
6:11 pm	why is everything imaginable going wrong? its ridiculous oh, and by the way, some people will NEVER change Current Mood: angry (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
11:32 pm	ummm this is by far one of the lowest points of my life... ok sorry umm back to everything you were doing? Current Mood: cold (3 Comments |Comment on this)
9:01 am	haha crazy weekend but it ended up all right this entry is dedicated to kali cleary - thanks for being the most amazingggg, crazy person ever i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu... i wanna make the i dont care remix im in BCC i have nothing else to do and i dont want to write anything about this weekend here because yea... just one thing who the fuck left TWO condom wrappers in/near my parents' bed... if you know, please tell me i wont be mad i just need to know and if you know anything about indias post holler back bye you guys Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Friday, May 20th, 2005
5:01 pm	bounce with me this weekend is about to be baller... i am sooooooooo excited... and i got my ACT scores back and they were baller too so now im all set to be in a good mood all weekendddd Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 15th, 2005
6:47 pm	(x) snuck out of the house (way too many times to count) (x) gotten lost in your city (well im not good with directions...) (x) saw a shooting star.. (camp...) (x) had a serious surgery - my ear (x) gone out in public in your pajamas (x) kissed a stranger (kind of... sort of..) (x) hugged a stranger (x) been in a fist fight - well i had a boxing fight with kali on friday ( ) been arrested (x) done drugs (x) had alcohol.. hmmmm (x) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose (x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator ( ) made out in an elevator - i wish (x) swore at your parents-maybe only once (x) kicked a guy where it hurts - accidentally (x) been in love (x) been close to love - haha both ( ) been to a casino ( ) been skydiving (x) broken a bone (x) been high ( ) skinny-dipped (x) skipped school (x) flashed someone (x) saw a therapist - haha in fifth grade (x) done the splits - i wish i could still do them (x) played spin the bottle - ohhh middle school (x) gotten stitches ( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour - umm no ( ) bitten some cat (WHAT THE FUCK) (x) been to niagara falls.. recently (x) gotten the chicken pox (x) kissed a member of the same sex - dot, dot dot... ( ) crashed into a friend's car (x) ridden in a taxi ( ) been fired (x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ( ) stole something from your job ( ) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend ( ) had a crush on a teacher - haha desdpite what ppl think i am NOT in love with mr. munro.. or mr. denney, or mr. mull... ( ) celebrated mardi-gras in New Orleans ( ) slept with a co-worker hahahahahaha ( ) been married ( ) gotten divorced ( ) had children ( ) saw someone die (x) driven over 400 miles in one day - it sucked ( ) been to Canada ( ) been to Mexico (x) been on a plane (x) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show yesssssss ( ) thrown up in a bar - if kali's house has a bar (x) ate sushi ( ) been snowboarding (x) been skiing ( ) met someone in person from the internet (x) been moshing at a rock show... kind of ( ) been to a moto cross show ( ) lost a child (x) gone to college I VISITED COLLEGES! ( ) graduated college ( ) done hard drugs noooo way D.A.R.E. ( ) tried killing yourself (x) tried hurting yourself (x) taken painkillers ( ) had someone cheat on you - not that i know of (x) love someone or miss someone right now camp... (x) had a crush on someone you shouldn't ( ) fucked up skool cause of a problem with weed hahaha YES! ( ) own an ipod (x) own a mp3 player - my crappy ass mp3 player (x) fancy someone on your friends list... i did for a hot minute Current Mood: accomplished (6 Comments |Comment on this)